Although this trip was not "destination Vegas," I'll have to admit...Vegas was the only planned and time sensitive stop thus far! Regardless, I'd call our Vegas adventure more of a "drive by" where we simply checked out the scenery and were back on our way!...What happened in Vegas, anyways???
I suppose I could get away with leaving it at that...and going along with one of many exceptional quotes from The Hangover..."What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, except herpes, that shit will come back with you!" ...but since the title of this Blog is "French Kiss & Tell"...I'll share a bit (but not all) of our time in Vegas!
A nine hour drive wasn't going to stop up from "seeing the lights" (especially since it was Halloween) so we drove on, making only one stop just outside of The Vegas Strip. Let's just say our night was bound to be great, we hadn't even made it to our hotel and we were already covered in glitter!..
We pulled into the valet area at Hotel Paris (how fitting) around 9pm. We then proceeded to unpack the entire car in hopes of reorganizing and repacking everything tomorrow (2 girls + 9 bags for less than 12 hours = 1 unhappy bellman!) we also discovered (and allow me to be unintentionally vulgar here) the smell of wet cheese was in fact coming from inside our buried ice chest, apparently cheese does not smell good when left to soak up water in a tight airless space for 3 days....Since our ice chest smelled like the rest of Vegas we left it outside the front doors of Hotel Paris (more on the smell of Paris [France] later).
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| An Explosive Preview |
Now for the costumes...I love Halloween...but I didn't want to buy a costume this year, I wanted to make one. Our glitter filled stop just outside of Vegas was not to a strip club, but to a craft store. I had to think fast and big...and that I did... in fact, I'll even go so far as to call my idea and creation "explosive!" I managed to transform myself into a Firecracker while Jamie was one bad-ass warrior! We were out the door and in a cab in less than 2 hours of landing at Hotel Paris...there was no time to waste! We even used the backseat of the cab to finish connecting my costume, women are great at multitasking!
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| Smurfin all the way! |
We arrived at Wynn to meet my buddy, Jayson, who helps host these crazy events at a club in the Wynn (Vegas translation...we go to the front of the line and are escorted in due to our "connections" you might as well be royalty if you have friends in Vegas!)...Unfortunately we were required to check our memory and our coats at the door...what happened next will remain a mystery...unless the dancing watermelon or one of the smurfs spills the beans! (and no we were not on drugs...it was Halloween...so these things really did exist!)
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| I don't recall what happened...do you? |
We were beyond exhausted by 4am, a true sign of my age...but apparently the taxi driver was even more exhausted than us. He fell asleep at the wheel while driving us back to our hotel! Poor guy must have been pulling all nighters and not resting much between shifts, a real danger when you're driving so much (hmmm sounds familiar!)
Somehow we made it back mostly unharmed, slept a few hours...and made zero progress on repacking the car in an "organized fashion." Vegas came and went, but I'm sure the red, silver,and blue glitter will be in that hotel room forever!
Dear Vegas,
Thanks for the wild night of entertainment at the expense of others! We are pleased to announce that we are leaving without making any deposits into your slots, and while we're on the subject, we will once again decline the offer of your most popular souvenir...the STD variety pack. I'm sure you will find plenty of others who will happily take one home to share! In addition we hope you enjoy our contribution to help improve the smell of your streets; the old, wet cheese in an ice chest was an expression of our gratitude so there will be no need to repay us for this! We are always happy to help! We love and miss you already! We will be back soon to cause more trouble and perhaps catch a Barry Manilow show!
Forever Your Fans.
Stephanie & Jamie
We've had our fun so now it's time to get serious and focus on priorities! First on the list? A massive meal at In-N-Out Burger and then a four hour drive to Hollywood for a much needed "Spa Day"...stay tuned!
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