ON AIR IN 5...4...3...2...(ALWAYS A SILENT)..1....

We had our Hollywood lights, camera, action moment on "The Talk" a morning show with Host Sharon Osbourne and a few other ladies (including Darlene from "Roseanne")...One of my favorite things to do is watch (or be involved in) live television productions...I miss the chaos and excitement of "going live"...in fact...just thinking about the "on air countdown" gets my adrenalin going ...odd? ...maybe... but I LOVE IT!

Thank You Jamie for letting me drag you out of bed before sunrise so I could get one last "live television high" before leaving the states!

We made our final national television appearance as American Citizens from the front row of the audience...the best clappers this show has ever had...thank you very much!... a special shout out to our fan...MOM...thanks for watching and DVRing the show!!! (and for being just as excited to see me clapping in the audience as you are to see me hosting a segment!)

 Hollywood was full of great friends, great times, and great sleep...It was nice to take a break and be in one place for a few days!  We said our long goodbyes to the Finch's over a final meal of delicious Double Double's (animal style of course), fries, and a chocolate shake...Then packed up the little Lexus and headed for the Pacific Coast Highway (no more wet cheese...this time it was dog pee...more on that later!)  Unfortunately, we left a few hours later than we had intended...which lead to an interesting sequence of events...In our next act...

Jamie flashes a cop...we are only mere moments from plunging to our death...then we wake up...(on a river bank under a giant canopy of Redwoods)...all this and more...coming up next!

Au Revoir L.A.!

Paris in Bloom... Mimicking Mother Nature's Spring Wardrobe

My first day in Paris 11/17/10

 My November arrival to Paris, France happened just as Mother Nature had begun her bitter cold, monochromatic, extended season of beauty sleep(aka "winter"). I encountered no lovers...but plenty of scowling faces, no poetry...but an abundance of beggars...no color, just cold, wet shades of grey....The so called "city of lights" was quite the contrary. It was a rough start, but after months of living in the dark...I FINALLY saw the light (In Texas we called this light the sun!) By mid March the songs of the birds and the slight warming of the earth had finally interrupted Mother Nature's slumber, giving life and color to the dull facade of Paris!  As I've carefully watched this city change from a lifeless pencil sketch to a richly colored canvas… I've learned a few things about the beauty of simplicity…

Prior to moving to Paris, I would have never associated this city with simplicity…It’s known for grand palaces, indulgent desserts, exquisite art, and architecture fit for a King…However, these details didn’t make Paris any more beautiful than any other cold, grey city.…it wasn’t until Mother Nature "woke up" that the simple beauty of Paris came to life.

Whip Cream Clouds 

Paris in the Spring…or “Paris au Printemps” (a Francais) has been a magical transformation from dark to light…death to life….In a matter of weeks the sky has turned from dark grey to a gentle blue with whip cream clouds, the once dead and frozen earth is alive with lush green grass, and the thin, naked branches have blossomed into beautiful canopies lining the streets....even the flowers look as though they are smiling at the sunlight…Mother Nature has debuted her Spring Fashion line and outfitted the city of Paris in a beautiful yet simple…breath of fresh Spring air!

Inspired by Mother Nature, I too packed away the layers of black and grey that I’ve been buried in since November…aching for a little color in my life and closet…I climbed up our little ladder to the attic and found the small box of spring or “colored” clothes I’d brought with me…Now, moving to Paris has taught me many difficult yet valuable lessons some of which share a common theme of “simplicity” others have helped me to define “need” over “want” (wow…I’m growing up!)  So, rather than rushing out to spend money I don’t have on new things  to occupy space that will never exist…I thought…hmmm... I didn’t see Mama Nature with the latest Louis Vuitton bag or Christian Louboutin heels…but she sure came alive with the a splash of color, a touch of sunshine, and a little maintenance…maybe I don't really need a new wardrobe...maybe all I need is a fresh "coat of paint" and a little "manicuring" to mimic the simple beauty of Paris in the Spring…

Mimicking Paris Au Printemps…

Start by putting away those winter blues (and blacks, and grays)… Go through your closet and pull out the heavy sweaters, scarves, winter coats, and big warm boots….it’s time to pack away that frown (the winter blues) and all the colorless layers you’ve been drowning in for months (the black and grey)…

Toes under the Tower

Make room for some sunshine, some color, and some workout clothes!  This doesn’t mean buy a new wardrobe…just taking your color out of hiding will lift your spirits…and the sight of sundresses is enough to make you smile…then give you the motivation to put on your workout clothes and get outside for a long healthy run! 

Getting a workout in will give you numerous health and beauty benefits! Translucent winter skin will soak up a bit of color from an outdoor sweat session, and getting your blood pumping will give your skin a glow! You'll also whip yourself into "sun dress shape", boosting your confidence and your health! Reward your hard work with a pedicure…this will add a pop of color to your toes and allow you a little "me time!" 

Cherry Blossoms in the Park

The Cherry Blossoms in the Parc Champ de Mars are a great example of nature's "makeup."  They are simple, fresh, and geourgoeus with just a touch of color that enhances, but doesn't overwhelm its environment.  

Playing in the rain!

• Try trading in your foundation for some tinted moisturizer with SPF (I LOVE Physicians Formula "Healthy Wear" tinted moisturizer!  It evens out the skin tone and is SPF 50!!)
• Add a touch of blush or a hint of bronzer... if you please…
• Skip the lipstick and pick up a tube of Cherry Chapstick…if has a hint of color, SPF, and a yummy flavor!
• Finally, a coat of waterproof mascara…so you can splash in the spring showers or dance in the rain!  (L'oreal Paris Double Extend waterproof mascara with lash boosting serum adds length and volume without clumps...one coat is enough and you won't even need an eyelash curler!)

Viola!  You'll be saying "Ooh la la" to the fresh faced beauty looking back at you in the mirror!

The Jardin du Luxembourg is truly the creme de la creme of Gardens in the city of Paris…but this gorgeous beauty requires some major upkeep!  I wouldn't strive to have the polished look of Luxemberg, but just as the grass is cut and the trees are trimmed…we all need a little maintenance now and then!  Spring is a great time to get a haircut…it doesn’t need to be a massive change…it could be a simple trim to “freshen up" Just be careful not to add too much maintenance to your routine...if you go for a massive color and style change, it might take a team... and a lot of time to keep you maintained!  So, if you don't want the upkeep of Jardin Du Luxemberg be careful not to lighten or darken your hair by more than two shades. If you're adding highlights ask your colorist for Balayage or just a few light pieces around your face.

Picnic at Jardin du Luxemberg

Finally, get outside and enjoy the beauty of Mother Nature! Take your lunch break outdoors…sit in the grass and read a book, listen to the birds, take time to smell the fresh cut grass and the lovely spring air!…You deserve a break…so go ahead and escape from the office and take a "petite vacation"…It’ll leave you refreshed, enhance productivity, and won’t drain your wallet!

It doesn’t take a lot of effort or loads of cash to mimic Paris au Printemps…just keep it simple like Mother Nature…add a splash of color to your canvas and enjoy the life around you! Life is simple. Life is Beautiful.

The "Sparkles" from the "City of Lights"

One final tip from the “City of Lights”…Always save the sparkles for after dark!

A Bientot! 

Stephanie Gerry

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE READY FOR THIS JELLY....

First of all...a big THANK YOU to The Finch's...Chris, Nick, and Emily....these are the kind of people that make the world  a better place!

We were given the pleasure to stay in great company at "Chez Finch"...as always, never a dull moment!  As the guys set out to help us unload the car Jamie yelled behind them... "Sorry if it smells like wet cheese in there!".... the look on Nick's face was priceless as he stopped dead in his tracks... and my instant response was "can't be that bad...we just had a spa day!"...

After some uncontrollable laughter Jamie explained that the wet cheese she was referring to was the cheese we had left in the ice chest and disposed of days ago (our gift to Vegas)...and the spa day meant we finally had a shower...So now that we're all on the same page...LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

I had traveled half way across the country with a massive bag of odd, interesting, OR delicious candy...depending on which piece you choose....a handpicked variety that Nick (my boyfriend Nick...not Nick Finch)...had personally selected and purchased at a candy superstore in Arizona...amongst the variety in this sac o' goods was monster goo, sour gum-balls, poprocks, tongue painters, flavored larvettes, and jelly belly's....but not just any jelly belly's ....these were the jelly's that dreams and nightmares are made of...every pack has identical looking beans that have two very different flavors...how about a black jelly bean?  Licorice, right?  Right...except the one that is not Licorice is Skunk Spray!...So this was our entertaining party game of the evening...Jelly Bean Roulette!

We started off by sampling the "larvettes" aka worm snacks!  We all agreed that the spicy variety was not bad, some of us even went in for seconds!  After that warm up we began our game of Jelly Bean Roulette...Round one was Epic!  I grabbed green...either juicy Pear or Booger... unfortunately I got the latter of the two! Jamie was enjoying Strawberry Jam (instead of Centipede)...Nick got Toothpaste instead of Berry Blue...but poor Chisso...poor poor Chirsso...his reaction to Barf (instead of Peach) was perfect...and I quote...



"Oh, I just got f****ed in the mouth.....I did not ask for this....I never want to be f***ed in the mouth mouth ever ever again." - Chrisso

Well...round two lead to Nick sampling Barf...and he actually "barfed" immediately after...no joke!  If that wasn't enough, I was tricked  into eating Fish instead of Cotton Candy...needless to say the odds were not in our favor and we decided to leave the remainder of the jelly beans in a bowl on the table for future house guests!...So to those of you who sample the candy bowl when visiting a friend...you've been warned!...I don't think you're ready for this Jelly!

Time for some shut eye!  We have an early morning date with the lovely Sharon Osbourne... Cherry O!

Victim of the tongue painting gum!

A Glamourous Hollywood Spa Vacation

Two Double Double's (Animal Style), two (handmade) chocolate shakes, and two orders of fresh french fries sil vous plait!  No, this is not another "Vegas Strip" story, it's our order at the world's greatest hamburger joint, In N Out Burger! Jamie and I happily wolfed down our energy packed meals of glory and waved au revoir to fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. A short four hour drive to Hollywood, California...piece of cake!

RIP MJ!

We blasted Katy Perry's "California Girls" over and over as we approached our destination with great anticipation.  This was a special night, for on this night we would sleep, eat, and take a "spa vacation".  We checked into the Hollywood Best Western and once again unloaded a years worth of supplies from the car.  I spent the next 30 minutes setting up our "Spa Vacation" and prepared a wonderful meal of PB&J.  Since this was a fancy night I pulled out my bucket of spa supplies (shower gel, shampoo, body lotion, and a razor) than filled up a small garbage can with hot water so Jamie could soak her feet. I took a long hot shower and voila...instant spa vacation!.  We had some snacks, filed our nails, used deodorant...you know..."glamorous girlie stuff."  It was an amazing night that was well deserved!

I woke the next morning to a pile of wrappers laying next to me in bed, I must have fallen asleep mid snack...a true sign of a great night's sleep! We were well rested and smelling great, it was time to conquer Hollywood! This was Jamie's first time to California so there was plenty for us to get into.  We spent the day walking with the stars, touring the city, and soaking up the California sun!  In addition we had managed to snag a spot as guests on Sharon Osbourne's new show "The Talk" for the following morning.  We had exhausted ourselves once again, and needed our beauty sleep so we could greet Mrs. Osbourne with bright eyes the next morning. We hunted down our car and headed to my favorite Hollywood Hot Spot (and our resting quarters for the next few nights) "Chez Finch."   

California is a magical place....but it's people like the Finch's that make places like LA worth visiting time and time again...brace yourselves for the next act!

AN "EXPLOSION" ON THE VEGAS STRIP

Although this trip was not "destination Vegas,"  I'll have to admit...Vegas was the only planned and time sensitive stop thus far! Regardless, I'd call our Vegas adventure more of a "drive by" where we simply checked out the scenery and were back on our way!...What happened in Vegas, anyways???

I suppose I could get away with leaving it at that...and going along with one of many exceptional quotes from The Hangover..."What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, except herpes, that shit will come back with you!" ...but since the title of this Blog is "French Kiss & Tell"...I'll share a bit (but not all) of our time in Vegas!

A nine hour drive wasn't going to stop up from "seeing the lights" (especially since it was Halloween) so we drove on, making only one stop just outside of The Vegas Strip.  Let's just say our night was bound to be great, we hadn't even made it to our hotel and we were already covered in glitter!..

We pulled into the valet area at Hotel Paris (how fitting) around 9pm.  We then proceeded to unpack the entire car in hopes of reorganizing and repacking everything tomorrow (2 girls + 9 bags for less than 12 hours = 1 unhappy bellman!) we also discovered (and allow me to be unintentionally vulgar here) the smell of wet cheese was in fact coming from inside our buried ice chest, apparently cheese does not smell good when left to soak up water in a tight airless space for 3 days....Since our ice chest smelled like the rest of Vegas we left it outside the front doors of Hotel Paris (more on the smell of Paris [France] later).

An Explosive Preview

Now for the costumes...I love Halloween...but I didn't want to buy a costume this year, I wanted to make one.  Our glitter filled stop just outside of Vegas was not to a strip club, but to a craft store.  I had to think fast and big...and that I did... in fact, I'll even go so far as to call my idea and creation "explosive!"  I managed to transform myself into a Firecracker while Jamie was one bad-ass warrior! We were out the door and in a cab in less than 2 hours of landing at Hotel Paris...there was no time to waste!  We even used the backseat of the cab to finish connecting my costume, women are great at multitasking!

Smurfin all the way!

We arrived at Wynn to meet my buddy, Jayson, who helps host these crazy events at a club in the Wynn (Vegas translation...we go to the front of the line and are escorted in due to our "connections" you might as well be royalty if you have friends in Vegas!)...Unfortunately we were required to check our memory and our coats at the door...what happened next will remain a mystery...unless the dancing watermelon or one of the smurfs spills the beans! (and no we were not on drugs...it was Halloween...so these things really did exist!)

I don't recall what happened...do you?

We were beyond exhausted by 4am, a true sign of my age...but apparently the taxi driver was even more exhausted than us.  He fell asleep at the wheel  while driving us back to our hotel!  Poor guy must have been pulling all nighters and not resting much between shifts, a real danger when you're driving so much (hmmm sounds familiar!)

Somehow we made it back mostly unharmed, slept a few hours...and made zero progress on repacking the car in an "organized fashion."  Vegas came and went, but I'm sure the red, silver,and blue glitter will be in that hotel room forever! 

In closing I'd like to share with you a little note I left behind....

Dear Vegas,

Thanks for the wild night of entertainment at the expense of others!  We are pleased to announce that we are leaving without making any deposits into your slots, and while we're on the subject, we will once again decline the offer of your most popular souvenir...the STD variety pack. I'm sure you will find plenty of others who will happily take one home to share!  In addition we hope you enjoy our contribution to help improve the smell of your streets; the old, wet cheese in an ice chest was an expression of our gratitude so there will be no need to repay us for this!  We are always happy to help! We love and miss you already! We will be back soon to cause more trouble and perhaps catch a Barry Manilow show! 

Forever Your Fans.

Stephanie & Jamie

We've had our fun so now it's time to get serious and focus on priorities!  First on the list? A massive meal at In-N-Out Burger and then a four hour drive to Hollywood for a much needed "Spa Day"...stay tuned!

A LAMB SHANK FOR DINNER & A T-BONE TO CUDDLE

T-Bone, me, and Angus

After encountering a Tarantula and a Mountain Cow on our hike through Aguirre Springs, it was time to get back on the road again!  We dropped off Jamie's daughter (Taylor "tot" as I call her), put an Albuquerque address into the navigation system and headed 4 hours down the highway....destination Jennifer James 101, Albuquerque's most sought after Restaurant!

We made it to Albuquerque in time to rinse the filth from our bodies, jump back in the car, and head to the Restaurant.  I would not count carcass's just to stay overnight in Aguirre Springs again, however, I would start my journey from the top solely to eat a meal prepared by the famed and talented Chef's of Jennifer James 101; Jennifer James and Nelle Bauer.  I enjoyed every bite of my perfectly paired meal (I'm still salivating over the Lamb Shank) right down to the unexpectedly delicious sample of Olive Oil Ice Cream topped with Balsamic Vinegar that Chef Nelle brought us to try.  If you are within carcass counting distance from Albuquerque, I highly recommend making a reservation at Jennifer James 101! 

A full belly and deliriously tired eyes means time for bed! Luckily we had the pleasure of staying with "my other half's" parents...who just so happen to be watching our dog,T-Bone, while we spend a year in Paris.  T-Bone is a very awesome dog.  He has been on "vacation" at his grandparents' house for a few months now, so the excitement was almost overwhelming when I walked in the door....Imagine his disappointment when he realized that his daddy was not with me...he is a very emotional (and awesome) dog who was clearly waiting for dad once I arrived!  Needless to say, he settled for me and I got to cuddle T-Bone while getting my first full night's sleep of the trip!  You know what they say though..."no rest for the wicked!"...It was early to rise as Jamie and I were driving nine more hours to spend Halloween in Vegas!!!!  "TROUBLE IS A FRIEND, TROUBLE IS A FRIEND, TROUBLE IS A FRIEND OF MINE!" -Carbon Leaf

IS THERE ROOM FOR ONE MORE?

13 hours, 30 carcasses, and one additional little passenger later...(no, not a hitchhiker or a carcass, but my co-pilot's seven yr old daughter who lives in Las Cruces) Now we were finally ready to set up camp!  We had packed a two man (or two chicks and a "tot") tent as well as a "Dora the Explora" cabana type thing (which later blew away and had to be held down by small boulders!)  I built a fire using a few random sticks and lots of lighter fluid...(lesson learned...invest in some wood) and was able to generate enough heat to warm some soup and roast a few mallows!  With tired eyes we all squeezed into the tent and as I listened to the sounds of nature and little snores I realized that I was not going to sleep much.  Instead I'd "protect" our campsite by clutching a dull pocket knife as (slight) paranoia kept me awake and on guard!....Day three without sleep was quickly approaching, but luckily I fulfilled my duty and kept all predators at bay!  

All in all the campsite and hiking were gorgeous in Aguirre Springs, and I found out first hand that camping there is rather safe!  I would highly recommend a stop at Aguirre Springs if you ever find yourself counting carcasses on your way out of Texas and need a place to crash for 3 bucks a night!  One final word of advice...DO NOT set up camp and leave the premises if you plan on returning after 5pm...this will upset the groundskeeper IMMENSELY and she will consider not letting you back in...if she does let you back in she will lecture you for at least 20 minutes on how inconvenient you have made her life!...I do not think it was the thought of wild animals that kept me awake that night...I think it was the fear that this woman was still ENRAGED as she had to unlock the gate after 5pm...You've been warned!

Now if only I can make it four more hours...A delicious meal, a warm bed, and a cuddly T-Bone awaits!

Aguirre Springs Camping